~John Burroughs ~
My mother and I talk on the phone about once a week to catch up on each other�s news; she finds out how we�re all doing in our new city, and I get to hear about how she�s faring on her own since my dad passed away. She hasn�t visited our home yet in our new city, but I�m hoping to get her down here this summer. It�s not that she doesn�t want to come; it�s that traveling is more difficult for her now. As she gets older, but especially since she�s been widowed, she is much more reluctant to be away from home, even if it�s only for a weekend. Her home, her routine and her familiar surroundings are her sanctuary. Her friends, her shops, her church and her doctors are all nearby; this gives her a sense of security and peace of mind. So for now, the phone is our way of sharing news and information.
As I get older, I begin to realize that there are a lot of qualities my mother has that I never quite noticed before; qualities that I appreciate more and more as the years go by. In addition to being upbeat, sociable and extremely generous, my mother is one of the most down-to-earth people I know. She has never focused on material objects or status to bring her happiness. Instead, she has always found joy in the simple things in life: her happy marriage, her children and grandchildren, her garden, her knitting, her church, the closeness she shares with her siblings, nieces and nephews, her few but good friends, and her community. She�s never owned or cared for designer clothing, expensive furniture, fancy cars or a big house. She never wore makeup, frequented fancy hair salons, sprayed on expensive perfume or slipped her feet into high-priced shoes. Not only has she never cared for any of these things, she�s never understood the need or desire for them. Or felt deprived in any way because she didn�t experience them. It�s something she doesn�t think or worry about. And because of this, she�s always been happy; completely and utterly satisfied with her life.
Lately, when I speak to my mother, I�ve begun to notice things I didn�t notice before: the way she lights up when she talks about the antics of the birds that she feeds in her backyard (something she�s enjoyed for years); how animated she becomes when she describes a meal she prepared and how wonderful it turned out; how upset she is when she talks about a TV show she watched about children starving around the world; how excited she sounds when she talks about the upcoming garden season; how thrilled she is that a loved one called her or dropped by for a visit. I have essentially discovered, after so many years, and as if for the first time, just how genuine and simple my mother is. And just how much it means to me to have a role model like her. I suppose this �discovery� has always been there, because now that I think about it, never in all my years (not during my childhood, adolescence, early adult years or now), have I ever seen a materialistic side to my mother or heard her moan or groan about not having this, that or the other thing. She�s always been modest, authentic and extremely content with her life. And now that she�s getting older and fully aware that she�s at the last stage of her life, every now and then she�ll mention what a wonderful life she�s had, especially the years with my father, and how peacefully and contentedly she will leave this world when her time comes.
The other day, I was telling my husband just how much I admire and cherish this side of my mother; that if I could inherit anything from her, it would be her simple, happy and spirited nature. That being able to find happiness in the simple things in life is the most wonderful way to be. That being in a state of perpetual contentedness is the ultimate goal in life. That I�d like to find myself in the same state as her when I reach the last stage of my life; perfectly satisfied with the life I lived with no regrets and no bitterness.
After all, what could be more gratifying than to leave this earth with your spirit and soul utterly at peace?
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