All My Love

�Grief is a room without doors � but somehow, with its tinsel and clich�s, Christmas finds a way in.�

- Simon Van Booy -

I�d like to begin this month�s abundance of Christmas posts with a dedication to my brother who died spring 2011, which my long time blogging pals already know about. The grief of his passing isn't as profound anymore, but when this time of year comes along my thoughts turn to him more often. And my heart aches.

Steve and I were only 11 months apart, what�s known as Irish twins,
and we shared a very special bond.

I was thinking recently about a conversation he and I had a very long time ago about death and grief and moving on; way before we�d ever had the misfortune of experiencing such a thing.

�What do you think it�s like when someone you love dies?� I asked.

He shrugged and said �I guess you�re heartbroken for awhile but you keep on living. And eventually you forget about whoever died.�

I did go on with my life because I must. He was right about that. But he was very wrong about the latter. You don�t forget. Ever.

Many Christmases ago with my two brothers. Steve is all the way to the left.

The song below is for my dear brother who introduced me to Led Zeppelin, his favourite band, when we were teens. His intention was to familiarize me with the wonderful world of rock music, and save me from the �shitty disco� (yes, he wasn't a fan) that was "contaminating" the world at the time. I hope that wherever he may be, he�ll be having a rockin� Christmas this year.

I miss you every day, Steve, for the rest of my life. All my love to you...


Is there anyone you miss this time of year?